We finally had the unveiling for my grandmother Miriam today. It was strange, to end this happy reunion weekend with a kind of sad and somber occasion. Both my dad and I felt odder about the unveiling than about the funeral. He was having so much trouble yesterday writing his speech for today, and we kind of agreed on the same feeling I'd had when my friend Joe died in May of 2005. The following winter, I had this sense of --okay, you died and that was awful but we sort of got ourselves through that but still being dead is kind of pushing it. Enough already, come back.

(Major breakdown happened here.)

At last Wally's asleep. The house is peaceful. I was glad to hear from visitors that the crayon on the wall and the toy cars scattered in the livingroom made the place feel cheerful and not gloomy at all. For those who don't know, we live in my grandmother's apartment, which is, other than the toys, pretty much the way she left it. (Made me think of Changing of the Guards: "The empty rooms where her memory is protected" -- of course these rooms are anything but empty) These have been the most slap-dash posts, done on a computer with a tiny screen that I can only see like one line at a time of and someone always interrupts me before I get a chance to read through or anything and now it's getting to where I hit publish post mid-sentence and quickly shut the computer as I hear someone entering the room so I don't get in trouble.


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