About to go on a Time Capsule dig with my 5th grade class. Am curious to see what we wrote to our future selves. Sometimes I feel like getting older is a kind of careless mistake that I don't want to take full responsibility for. Like spilling wine on somebody's nice white dress. You saw your arm push against the glass, you felt it, but still it just seemed to "happen" (passively, like my boss not calling people back). I guess I am 34, I say in one of the millions of imaginary conversations I have in my head throughout the day, but it just kind of happened. That's not really me. Thinking back to myself at 11, jumping on a pogo ball, making pop-up books, eating Bugles in Heather's living room after school--it's so vivid. It's so who I am in my head. I don't feel like I let that person down, but just that the record skipped, that something accidentally got blipped out.
Brilliant, eloquent, dead on. Thank you for reading my mind and getting out there these vague, nebulous age-related thoughts that have been troubling me so. XO
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