Anyone can be a Queen

video

I'm not one to post videos of my kids, but I was so delighted this morning when Petra redefined the Disney Queen. A friend gave her a Frozen Elsa doll. As I was fighting to unwrap it, she looked at the pictures on the back, one of Elsa and one of Kristoff. Pointing to Elsa she said, "Here's the princess", and pointing to Kristoff, the male hero, she said, "Here's the Queen." Can you believe I almost corrected her for a second? Just auto-pilot for a mom with a toddler learning new words everyday. But then I was like, wait, what? That's awesome! And I asked her to recreate it. I wish I'd caught the group of Wally's friends—3 boys and 1 girl—who all asked to be Queen in a game a few weeks ago. Yet as much as we might seem to embrace fluidity (maybe some of you remember the Boy in the Purple Tutu), I have to be honest and tell you that Wally now "hates" pink, recoils at princesses, and hasn't donned the tutu or anything like it in over a year. He did--at home--wear a kilt last St. Patty's Day, but there had been build up around it for years (that was something society would "allow") and in the end it felt somewhat perfunctory. Who knows why he now embraces and earlier defied his "proper" role. Who knows how much we influenced him, one way or the other. Complex stuff, but one recent question he posed to Petra I think worth posing more broadly: Why do so many girls want to be princesses instead of Queens?

#QueeringDisney 


Comments

  1. SO cute! I blame Disney. Princesses are shown as these amazing people, so pretty and perfect. I'm a grown woman and I still want to be a princess!

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  2. I love your hashtag! Ughhh the princess thing... Dreading that. She hasn't seen any Disney yet, not even Mickey. I love Wally's question. He has a great point! Where are all the queens?? The only one I can think of is the "wicked" one from Snow White. Of course we all know the problem with queens - too much power, don't need rescuing.

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  3. You're both right about queens...thanks for your responses! We'll have to invent some queens worth idolizing.

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  4. Yes, here's to the queens!! And how did I forget to mention beautiful Petra? Oh what a charmer! Love the vid!

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  5. Cute, but also troubling. As an elementary school mom, I did my best to ban guns, Barbies and Disney from my house, but at least the latter two categories are trying to be more diverse. My son abandoned his favorite hot pink lunch box in kindergarten but now at college he proudly runs in the hot pink and neon spandex his girlfriend and sister bought for him. Safer in traffic too! My son and daughter are both heterosexual but have several gender-fluid friends. I think there is hope for a more tolerant society with less stringent gender roles and aspirations. So nice to connect with you! How did you find my blog?

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  6. Definitely with you on guns...and certainly would never buy a Barbie, though I didn't ban this one (the Elsa version). Love that your sun rocks hot pink spandex! You're right - safer too - another selling point for more color!!! I found your blog I think through Sarah at onebluesail and then through Cynthia now I'm forgetting her last name and blog. As SOON as I saw "novels, art and life in coastal Maine" I was hooked!!!

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