Is Pluto still there?

Two weeks ago at this time the doctors felt they'd given the Cytotec enough time and there hadn't been enough progress so they had to start Pitocin after all. But there were still lots of hours left to go on Earth Day and the light was going down slowly over the city roofs and water towers. This new person next to me was still pretty much a total mystery. 

Wally was overjoyed to meet his sister, born in the early morning the next day. But in the hours and days that followed he's struggled at times. He misses "three family". He feels sad that the dinosaurs went extinct. He wonders how it is that we just become nothing after we die. He sobbed over a popped balloon. Feels so sad that his sister (Petra) won't get to meet my grandmother Miriam, the one whose apartment we live in. He knows only that he did get to meet her. He asked if we could write her a letter. (To which my dad replied, out of Wally's earshot, "You're gonna need a lot of postage.")

The other day Wally asked, in the tiniest voice, "Is Pluto still there?"


  1. Aww. His world has changed. They do get used to it though.

  2. Oh Wally, sweet boy. Your existential questions are only just beginning. You are your mother's son. But Petra her daughter, wow! You are a brother! And there is a daughter. So wonderful. Yes, there is so much to miss, these days. Memes wants to give you a big hug, for all the pain and love that a heart can't hold, having a younger sister. She knows what it is to "have emotions," and that this roller coaster ride is unrelenting, confusing, yet is so beautiful, we just wouldn't miss it for anything.

  3. It really is confusing but so beautiful, you're right k.b.e. So sweet of Memes, and you're right Bearette, I can see him already getting used to it. At least he is able to clearly articulate his feelings now, rather than grasping at metaphors or loss (though even that was certainly better than acting out/regressing). Two nights ago he said he does love the baby but he misses three family more than he loves her. Of course he put it in his own bizarre way: "I love the baby ten thousand but I miss three family eleven thousand and one."

    I'd love to hear more about older siblings adjusting. It really is such a seismic shift.

  4. You must have just had a baby - congratulations! More people loving each other, that's what a new member of the family means. More, not less of anything. God bless you all.

  5. GretchenJoanna - yes! I'm not too good with formal announcements. April 23 - 6 pounds 7 ounces, 20 inches. I love your perspective on a new family member. Thank you.


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