Thursday, October 6, 2016
Just back from a Built to Spill concert in Brooklyn. God, that seems like such a different life. It's been years since I've seen them. I hardly ever go to shows anymore. Hardly ever play music, if I'm being honest. I know "if I'm being honest" is seen as a throw-away phrase. Why shouldn't you always be honest? But in some cases you want to maintain some idea of who you think you are and it takes some kind of effort to break through that and admit that no, you're not that person, at least right now. Built to Spill memories are really most deeply tied to college. I can picture myself in the river dorms, listening to Perfect From Now On over and over and over. Wherever you were, you just listened. I remember after college listening to every day at lunch in the spring of 1999 when I worked at Thermo-Retec in Concord, Massachusetts. I'd sit out by the little stream with my CD player and headphones (is that called a walkman or is a walkman only cassette?) and eat lunch while I listened to "Carry the Zero" singing "you're so occupied with what other persons are occupied with and vice versa" but I wasn't, at that time, so occupied with what other persons are occupied with. I was so much more in my own head. At that moment, I didn't really have any other choice. Doug Martsch had no idea, when he wrote that line, how much that would come to define our distant but constantly, maniacally interconnected lives now.