Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
It was okay when I went on Facebook once a week or so, but it had become something I was checking daily, several times a day. An avalanche of senseless, disconnected, unprocessed information. Yes, it was often amusing. It was nice to see updates on friends. There were some people I was happy to be in better touch with because of it. And I liked our neighborhood gang—finding out about the baby crocodiles at Chelsea market or that they were having a picnic by the river that night.
"Wait, Toulouse," he calls after me. "Isn't that where you went in college...for your foreign study---?"
"Yes," I call back, still heading for another, less wired, less entangled room in the house.
Last night I found myself picking up Banana Rose, the book by Natalie Goldberg. Two of her books on writing – Writing Down the Bones and Wild Mind—are among my favorite about writing. I think Banana Rose might be her only novel. So far I'd only shuffled through the first hundred pages or so, even though I’ve had it out from the library for several weeks and it’s overdue. Last night I lay down on the couch and read through to page 373, the end. It was late when I set the book down, and I felt spent. Not zombie like. Spent in a way I remember from the summer after high school, where I’d come home late, just in time for the town’s 1 o’clock curfew for drivers under 18.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Here are 10 Things I’ve found time to do since quitting Facebook. These were all things I could never seem to get to, before.
Also, this is gonna sound a little dumb, but I also made the decision to come home with Wally straight after school even though he's not napping lately at that time and it's beautiful and we should be outside and I can't believe you're inside, on such a nice day, blah blah blah. For a while I was pushing things...going to a playground straight after school or to the park or museum or something now that the clocks have changed and 2:30 feels so early. But it wasn't really working. Even though he doesn't need to nap, necessarily, he can't go from 5 hours of intense school and work--they really work those kids--straight to another area where he needs to exhibit so much self-control, like the playground. Now that he's older and, for the most part, extremely fair, he has to let younger kids grab, steal toys, throw sand, etc. all without flipping out. Younger kids do that stuff. So he has to accept it, but without a break, after such an intense day and no nap, asking him to accept it really calmly, when he's only like 10 months older than some of them to begin with, is really too much.
He needs to time to decompress, too.
And I can't directly trace this "healthy" decision-making to quitting Facebook, that would be as insane-sounding as me telling a friend that food tastes better since quitting, (I know, nuts, but really -- it does!!), but I can add to to one more way I've been able to quiet the voices clamoring for attention all around me, and listen to my own. (Why do mom-blog type entries always turn into these self-help affirmation type things? Like if someone wrote a review they'd talk about the writer "finding her own voice" and so on. Hmmm. Read "Snow Angels" by Stephanie Vaughn. Enjoy the beautiful day. Don't feel guilty if you spend a lot of it inside. You do what you can. You're finding your own voice. You're watering all your plants diligently. Sometimes they still won't grow.)
Afterthought (anticipating a round of rigorous questioning after this post from various dubious friends and family)
"I thought you said you were only on Facebook about 10 minutes a day?"
Answer: "I really thought that's all it was!"
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
|Gardeners at work on the High Line|
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Earlier wake up time?
No--exhausted as it is.
Less time on email?
Can't--have to do it, for work.
Already cut back so much, friends are getting mad.
Skip party this weekend?
Cancelled on that person last time.
Leave dinner earlier?
Need to stay on good terms, those are work contacts.
Tell your family this Sunday isn't good?
It's my nephew's birthday.
Long hair, need to condition.
As soon as you get home from work?
Too stressed. I think I'm entitled to five minutes to unwind and transition.
So after that?
Too late, have to get ready to go out.
The argument would inevitably end with me saying, "Okay, fine, but you could have been practicing now, rather than having this discussion." I always thought that would be the knockdown punch, but it wasn't: "But I hardly ever get to see you." It took years, but finally I realized the question for me wasn't how to get person X to admit he/she has time to practice or write, but why am I surrounding myself with people who are not serious?