tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post3004307208030219779..comments2023-10-07T12:44:54.727-04:00Comments on Last American Childhood: Rachel Federmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00954446214849444639noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-87959323785715925892013-04-10T20:49:37.545-04:002013-04-10T20:49:37.545-04:00Thanks Jenny for your advice. I don't know how...Thanks Jenny for your advice. I don't know how Audrey managed that home birth of hers..was she at home for S as well? I didn't know you had the automatic love for babies.. my sister has it too, though now I can't remember if she only developed it after having her own kids. I've heard of another woman who has nightmares about her natural birth. I can't believe the book club woman did it 3 times if the experience was that terrible. <br /><br />still waiting. starting to feel like it's overdue or something b/c of the way people seem annoyed with the lack of newsRachel Federmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954446214849444639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-46139889816632250352013-04-10T18:34:30.963-04:002013-04-10T18:34:30.963-04:00I totally agree that people have different toleran...I totally agree that people have different tolerances for pain. I do not have a high tolerance. I wanted to avoid an epidural for Max and had a shot that took the edge off, but when it went on and on I gave up. You should do whatever feels right to you and the time and not worry about a plan.A woman in my book club had 3 natural births (b/c it was the 70s and that's what you were supposed to do) and she has nightmares. Audrey, as you know, had her baby at home with nothing- but the whole thing lasted 45 minutes, and she has a much higher tolerance than I do. I agree with Alex that now you know what you are getting into- the first time you really can't imagine. But it will be very different b/c the baby will be a different person than Wally. And I am one of those women who love babies..... Jenny Paulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-68939786207096421202013-04-06T20:43:04.795-04:002013-04-06T20:43:04.795-04:00Such wonderfully, supportive comments - thank you....Such wonderfully, supportive comments - thank you. Roo and Moo - It does sound like you could be a professional birther - and there is such thing, right? (Surrogate)...It's amazing how until you have a child you can't imagine caring about the details of someone's birth story and then when you do you want to hear every single detail, every decision and how they made it, every dilation update. Although having said that about not being curious before going through it oneself, I just had this flash memory of being up in the loft in Washington Drive and reading a a letter/journal entry your mother had written about your birth...and being riveted by it...do you still have that? Where were you, btw - birthing center or hospital? I know you weren't at home b/c I remember the fear of not getting to the midwife on time. I woke up this morning thinking about Remi and Mael as each other's lobster; so sweet. Thank you. Eli - still more to say about the social/alone dichotomy, the issue of postpartum visitors, and leaving the cocoon... Rachel Federmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954446214849444639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-44768457691516469142013-04-05T18:51:22.400-04:002013-04-05T18:51:22.400-04:00Having had two natural births, I can assure you th...Having had two natural births, I can assure you that I would not have done it any other way, unless of course it were a safety issue. You once told me that you have to be vulnerable, even if it means feeling pain. That it is the only way to live, to really feel alive. I have never felt more alive than birthing my children. My midwife joked that I should become a professional birther. I enjoyed it that much. I visualized a lotus blossom slowly opening...and made a lot of noise, because it felt right to release all the energy I was experiencing. Allow your body to fully embrace the intensity that is flowing within. It is a moment in time when you can utter anything you wish, stay totally silent, roar, scream, whatever works for you. As for the pushing, it couldn't come fast enough. I felt like I wanted to push the whole time, so when the moment came, I was so utterly grateful for it. I was so mesmerized watching my mini men "dar a luz", give to the light, that I hardly noticed any discomfort. And then there was that moment of ecstasy when you were done with the marathon, and had this amazing gift to study. <br /><br />As for the addition of another child, I am so grateful that Remi has his brother. Even when their father and I are gone, si Dios quiere, they will have each other. Mind you, they drive each other (and me) crazy at times since they really never get a break from each other...never. But, they are each others lobster, and I hope they always will be. Having each other increases their creative thinking and play, teaches them tolerance, and gives me a break from always being the playmate. There is no friendship that can replicate siblinghood.<br /><br />So, you are in my thoughts. May the force be with you! Or to put it more aptly: May you be with the force!Roo and Moohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08607521382354765373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-33532918791079906102013-04-05T18:37:28.319-04:002013-04-05T18:37:28.319-04:00Having had two natural births, I can attest that I...Having had two natural births, I can attest that I would not have wanted it any other way, unless it had been a safety issue. You once told me that opening yourself up to be vulnerable, even if it means feeling a little pain is the only way to really live...to know that you are alive. I sort of see it that way. I have never felt more alive. As for the pushing, I couldn't get to it fast enough. You feel like the end is near, and your prize will be there at any second when that part comes. I was so enlivened by watching them "dar a luz" (give to the light) that I didn't quite notice the discomfort at that point. Breathe, moan, feel free to express any sensation, just go with the flow. I visualized a lotus blossom opening and gave into the intensity I was feeling...and I made a lot of deep groaning before push time came, because it felt good to release some energy.<br /><br />As for the two kids, I can't imagine it any other way. My boys drive each other crazy at times (given they really never have a break from each other...never), but they are each others lobster. It adds to the creative play element, teaches them tolerance, and I hope that they will never be alone, even when their father and I are gone. <br /><br />And Mael NEVER woke Remi up. Granted Remi woke Mael up from naps with his loud pretend play, but he was two years old. I imagine Wally will be better at controlling that, and at school much of the time. There is nothing like a sibling. I can't wait to hear how Wally receives her. He is such a sweet little man. I can only imagine it will be a beautiful thing. I wish I could be a fly on the wall.<br /><br />May the force be with you! Or, more aptly put: May you be with the force!Roo and Moohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08607521382354765373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-66004056433979984622013-04-04T22:18:41.517-04:002013-04-04T22:18:41.517-04:00eli - thank you. more soon.eli - thank you. more soon.Rachel Federmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954446214849444639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-35691881082134584442013-04-03T22:13:05.737-04:002013-04-03T22:13:05.737-04:00What an amazing entry. so true about the social/ ...What an amazing entry. so true about the social/ alone part of the experience....I completely feel that way and vascillate as to which I want at any given time. also the dire warnings since enetering kindergarten....so much to comment upon but am limited with a baby on my lap that I'm trying to get to sleep. see you on the other side......elinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-59350752176203585522013-04-03T11:05:29.842-04:002013-04-03T11:05:29.842-04:00Holly - I'd love to talk about it further, too...Holly - I'd love to talk about it further, too. I meant I couldn't find anyone who testified that the natural/ drug-free/deep breathing approach pain-free or even tolerable pain. So - you're the first! There are people who've described it as empowering, liberating, amazing, wonderful, but it's always accompanied by a warning like this one from one friend, "don't get me wrong - it hurt like hell". So I just wondered - if there are these books and CDs and programs on meditative labor and how peaceful it all can be, how come no one can actually report that to be their experience? <br /><br />Bearette - I can't believe Zoe never woke up Eric!! That's great. I can't get over how fast the Zoe labor was. i feel like I never got the full scoop from you on how that one went.Rachel Federmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954446214849444639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-22481402425287691852013-04-03T07:35:30.660-04:002013-04-03T07:35:30.660-04:00Well, in terms of Wally's story - Zoe never wo...Well, in terms of Wally's story - Zoe never woke Eric up with night crying. I worried about that before she was born, but it never happened.<br /><br />I did give natural childbirth to Zoe (no drugs of any kind). It was NOT pain free, but it was much better than my labor with Eric, because it was faster, and it was empowering. Bearettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14695540798528134304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89009055828422416.post-22382109847568892842013-04-02T18:56:03.135-04:002013-04-02T18:56:03.135-04:00Have you not found any first person natural child ...Have you not found any first person natural child birth accounts? (or just hypnobirthing?) Because I have 2 first person natural and completely drug free personal accounts and they were both amazing. I wouldn't even call them painful- intense, yes, but not pain. There was an end in sight. But I was prepared.And for me, pushing was the best part. It felt like exactly what I was supposed to do. I'd love to talk about this further- it is something i am so passionate about!Hollyhttp://www.integrativemom.comnoreply@blogger.com